What You Could Dream Of
by magicalgirlsdeservemore
Summary: Christa saved Ymir's life when they were young. Now it's time for Ymir to return the favor. (Some violence, mentions of abuse/child abuse and forced prostitution just a warning)


Ymir is ten. She and her father are in a different district now. She's not sure why, but she does know she is to stay hidden.

"They'll take you away if they find you." her father warns her. Ymir doesn't care, she's already away from her mother and her warm bed and her relatively happy life.

He leaves her alone in the woods. She's starving, and can't remember the last thing she ate. She wanders slowly, searching for berries. One minute she's surrounded by trees and the next she's walking into a village. Her grey shirt is long and dirty, her feet are bare and bloody since her shoes fell apart. Her stomach growls and she clutches it, hoping she can scavenge for or steal food.

Ymir hears the scuffle of feet, and whirls around to see a girl younger than her, with a bruised face, matted blonde hair, and kind blue eyes. The girl smiles and before Ymir knows what's happening her hands are holding something warm. She looks down. Bread. She looks back up and the girl is smiling, but she looks pained, as if she has never smiled before.

"T-thank you." Ymir says. Unsure of how to repay her, Ymir hugs her quickly.

The girl stares blankly, frozen. She blinks. Ymir wants to say something, but she has lingered too long. She runs back to the woods as fast as she can. Once out of sight, she devours the bread. Without it, she wouldn't have survived, her father doesn't come back till days later.

…

Ymir doesn't care about her father's revolution. She's sure it won't work, nothing else has in the past, and her father is more of an idealist than a realist. She does what he tells her, so they don't get caught in District 12. Ymir's is unaware how they've made it this far unnoticed, but she decides it's best not to question it. They're alive, she's alive, and even though she's completely miserable- she knows her life will end before too long, she just needs to hold on for a little longer.

Ymir is eighteen- the last year her name can be reaped. Her father is excited, with his daughter, his key for success, not partaking in the games the plan can go through, he's trained her well. She's prepared to die for the cause she doesn't believe in, if it is accomplished, a great many people will be happy. She's suffered, truly, but she's seen all the districts, and know she's been lucky. She's willing to sacrifice her life for the people with no hope. But most importantly, the girl who gave her the bread will theoretically live the rest of her life in peace.

Her world is shattered when she watches as the tributes for District 2 are selected. The girl the age of twelve is selected. But another girl volunteers in her place. Ymir's blood goes cold when she recognizes the girl, Christa Lenz. Sixteen, tiny, frail looking, and blonde, she looks terrified in the spotlight. She is unmistakably the girl she's thought about for the past eight years.

Ymir clenches her fists. She knows what she has to do.

…

Her father is furious when she volunteers. He refuses to speak to her- not even to say goodbye. Ymir's not hurt, if anything, she's relieved. She's no longer a part of his plan. And this way, she can save Christa's life, a thank you for saving hers.

At the Capitol, after the ceremony, the girls get a chance to speak to one another.

Christa is donning a big blue dress, her hair curled and adorned with a garland, pounds of make-up covering her previously battered face. Ymir's attire is much more fitted, black and spiky, her make-up makes her look terrifying.

Ymir approaches her, and Christa slowly takes a few steps back. Her expression is empty with a tint of fear. It's obvious she doesn't recognize Ymir from their first meeting.

"Are you here to make an offer?"

"An offer?" Ymir cocks her head. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm in demand." Christa is looking down.

"You're a tribute. They can't do that."

"That's why they're demanding me, I only have a limited time before I'm in the arena. They know I'm weak, the more people I sleep with, the more rewards I'll be given in the games."

"That's fucked up." Ymir says.

Christa remains silent.

"Stay near me." Ymir suggests. "I'll make sure you won't be dragged into that kind of situation."

Christa glances up, her hollow eyes surprised. "It won't be the first time…back in District 2…it's how I survived."

Ymir looks at her woefully. "You don't have to do that, not unless you want to."

Christa doesn't leave Ymir's side. At night, she follows her back to her suite.

"I can thank you if you want. I've been with women before too." Christa offers, empty.

Ymir shakes her head. "I'm not doing this for sex."

"Then what?"

The brunette sighs. "Do you think you could smile for me? A real one, not the fake one for the cameras."

The Christa's eyes are glossy. "I haven't smiled genuinely in years. I don't think I can anymore."

Ymir gently caresses her cheek. "It's fine."

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" the blonde asks cautiously.

Ymir nods, pained by how hard the girl's life has been. _I wish I could have taken you with me, all those years ago_.

Ymir can't fall asleep, Christa is holding on to her too tight.

…

Everything is a blur. Everyone is moving around quickly. Ymir is freezing. There is already blood on the snow. Ymir grabs a bow next to several arrows. She is running, and looks up. Mountains, mountains everywhere. She curses the Capitol and President Reiss for picking such a terrain. She hears four canons, and prays Christa is okay.

She sprints farther up, to the foot of a mountain. She turns around, she's the furthest one- those years of her father's relentless training are helpful. Ymir looks to her right and she spies someone kneeling. She squints. It's Christa.

A burly man her age is walking towards her with an axe in his hand.

_She's surrendering. No… She can't._

Christa can't give up like that, not now. Ymir runs closer, and she stops to draw an arrow. She can't miss. If she misses, Christa will be slaughtered, and it will be her fault. Ymir releases the arrow, and the blonde man falls to the ground.

"Christa!" she calls, but the icy wind is drowning out her voice. She is soon blinded by a snowstorm, but trudges her way, certain Christa hasn't moved.

She's right.

"C-Christa." Her teeth chatter, she's never been so cold her life.

The blonde is clutching a pack, still seated, not moving. She's staring at the man's body. Ymir gently pries the girl's fingers off the pack to open it, there are two heavy winter coats. She wraps one around herself and then puts Christa's on for her. She still doesn't budge.

"He was nice to me." she admits. "He gave me tips on knife wielding."

Ymir attempts to pack the snow into some sort of shelter without much luck. She sits in front of Christa and places her arms around the girl, pulling her closer for warmth.

"You should have let him kill me." Christa moans. "I'm not worth anything, and I'll just cause you trouble."

"I didn't volunteer so you could die in the first five minutes." Ymir snaps, shivering. "You're not worthless."

"W-why did you volunteer? You, you make it sound like it's because of me!" Christa shouts, the howling wind is louder.

"I didn't!"

"Then why-"

"We need to find shelter or we'll freeze to death!"

…

On Day 4 the weather changes, the heat melts the snow and the girls shed their coats. Christa is still bleeding from the ambush they barely escaped. Ymir shot a freckled boy in the eye and Christa knifed the other guy after he slashed her with his spear. Two canons let them know they finished the job. Christa is being carried on Ymir's back.

There is a small cave opening covered by a boulder- Ymir would have missed it if she never had to hide in a similar place before. She sees smoke rising on the other side of the mountain, and she knows Christa is too hurt to fight. She musters enough strength to budge the boulder enough to see the entrance. She gently puts Christa down.

"I saw smoke, which means someone is close by. You're staying here since you'll just slow me down." Ymir is about to partially seal the entryway.

"Are you doing this to protect me?" Christa asks, looking avoiding eye contact.

"I'm just returning the favor." Ymir answers.

For the first time, there is a light in Christa's eyes, dim, but enough to make Ymir's heart waver.

"Please come back."

"So you want me to come back?" Ymir laughs.

Christa frowns. "I'm serious." She tries moving forward, but winces. "I can't explain it, but when I'm with you…" she gasps and Ymir helps lay her down.

"Save it for later. Hopefully this person will have some ointment we can use for your wounds, you need it desperately."

Ymir stands up and exits the cave. She faintly hears Christa murmur "Be careful," as she moves the boulder back.

…

Ymir miscalculates. She is cornered against the mountain, outnumbered five to one. She has no choice but to climb up and shoot arrows from a ledge, the weapons the other kids are using are best for one on one, and she can't defend herself. She jumps high but not high enough, she scrapes her hands and her calf is slashed. She keeps climbing but her leg is stinging- there is poison in her veins. She's scrambling upward as fast as she can, but her heart is heavy.

She can't hear anything, unsure if she escaped or if she's dying.

_I'm sorry Christa._

…

She wakes up and Christa is crying. But then she is smiling- truly smiling.

"Ymir," she leans over and kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry for not remembering earlier."

"Remember what?" she asks, ragged.

"I…I wanted you to take me with you, I knew you weren't from our district. I had no friends growing up, no one was nice to me. I, I can't believe I didn't recognize you right away, I always hoped you'd come back." She wipes away a tear. "I dreamed about it. But you remembered, you volunteered to _save _me and I don't know how to thank you for that."

Christa kisses Ymir softly, and Ymir faintly wonders if she died and if this is what heaven is.

"You didn't come back for two days, I tried to follow you. I found your bow and arrows at the base of this mountain. I saw the smoke you mentioned earlier. I shot all five of them." Christa smiles eerily. "There's only three other tributes besides us."

Ymir's head is spinning and she blacks out.

…

When Eren dies after losing his right arm and left leg Ymir drops her bow. She hugs Christa tightly, desperate. "I love you." she whispers.

Christa looks up and touches her cheek.

"You can live a better life."

Christa shakes her head. "Not without you." She grins, almost deviously. "Don't give up yet." she says, cradling her arms around Ymir's neck.

She lets go of Ymir and walks up to the camera. Ymir's heart is racing, unsure of what the girl is doing.

Christa stands tall and clenches her fist over her heart.

"My name is Historia Reiss!" she announces. "The only child of President Reiss! I am not a member of District 2!"

The sound of a helicopter surrounds them. "Ymir of District 12 is the winner! As the daughter of the President I demand that this is the end!"

The aircraft lands and both girls walk up to it, hand in hand.

"Historia do you want to live for yourself?" Ymir asks, ideas entering her mind.

"If I'm with you I won't be afraid."

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

With one swift motion Ymir pushes Christa into the helicopter and steals her knife. With no warning Ymir stabs both pilots and violently removes their bodies from the craft- along with communicative devices.

"Ymir what are you doing?" Historia yells over the sound of the propellers.

"We're going to District 13!"

"What? But it's-"

"It's isolated aside from rebels! We'll be safe there!"

"How do you know how to control this thing?"

"It's a long story!"

"Ymir, what are we going to do once we get there?" Christa questions, inching her way to the other pilot chair.

"We're going to leave there too and go somewhere else- somewhere far away from this fucked up world we live in." her tone changes. "If that's what you want.

"It's all I've ever dreamed of."

**AN: Sorry I know it's kind of rushed. Also I haven't read THG books in years so I'm a little more fuzzy on some details, but I just wanted it to focus on their relationship.**


End file.
